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Easier said than done!

The fiancé and I have been in discussion over the last 48 hours or so, about where we are and where we’re going. I’m slowly coming to realize that as much as I would prefer to remain in Ohio, near my family, in this place that I’ve always called home, that that’s probably not actually possible, as far as his career is concerned.

Alex is about to graduate (in June) with an associate’s degree in Digital Media. His overall career goal is to find work in 3D animation, either for TV, film, or video games, in the sci-fi/fantasy genre. Kinda specific, right? We both feel pretty strongly that, given these overall goals, it will be important for him to start out in the world on the right foot. Unfortunately, there aren’t as many opportunities for him here as I’d like, and we’ve been forced to consider locations outside the tri-county area I’ve lived in my whole life.

This will be good for me.

That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. For any of a myriad of reasons, all of which I can’t really dive into too deeply, this isn’t a bad choice for me either. Moving westward that is. That’s what we’re really talking about here. Packing up everything we own, plus the four cats and the dog, and moving to the other side of the country, to the land of creative employment, rampant liberalism, no family, amazing friends, warmth (or rain), and opportunity. Opportunity. That’s become the current buzzword of my life. It scares me though. Opportunity offers no promise of success or happiness… just the chance for both. It’s a huge step into the unknown. My own personal time to boldly go. It never seemed this hard for Picard… but then, he got to take everyone he cared about, and the familiar environment he called home, boldly with him.

Did I mention that the ocean will be on the wrong side?

There are a MILLION questions swirling in my head. Alex is focusing his job search on Las Vegas, NV; San Francisco, CA; Portland, OR; and Seattle, WA. All of these cities are 30+ hours away from where I’m sitting right now. I have the immediate concerns of driving that far cross country with all the critters. Depending on where we move, we could potentially be taking two cars with us, which would necessitate friends to share trip. I have nightmares about cats getting loose in the desert and never being seen again. Then, once we get there, who watches them all over the holidays when we travel home to family? Do we bring the dog with us, on a plane for the first time in her life, when she already has a tendency toward anxiety?

How do we meet people, especially if we end up in Portland or Seattle, where I know virtually no one? Alex will likely have a full time job to go to, and the inherent social structure that comes with that, but what about little old me who works from home? What about, in a few years when I want to have kids, and our families are a world away? I’ve never even imagined experiencing that without the support of the people who raised me.

Oh, and money. Money stresses me out and we’re just not going to say anything else about that.

I know these are problems that have been faced and overcome by probably billions of people before me, but they’re real for me now. I’d love any feedback all of you have, if you’ve lived this kind of move personally, or are local to one of the areas we’re looking at. Heck, I’ll take any reassuring words at the moment! Logically I know that this will all work out. That Alex and I are grown-ups who can handle a simple thing like a relocation, but emotionally the prospect remains daunting.

I suppose that, until there’s an actual job offer in hand, all of this is theoretical anyway. I kind of feel like I’m holding my breath for that moment, for the decision to just be fucking made already, so I can move on with concrete planning, rather than useless worrying.

Did I mention that throughout this whole graduation, job hunt, decision making situation we find ourselves in, we’re also planning a wedding? It’s gonna be a heck of a summer!